First Steps on the Healing Journey

How do you heal on a cellular level? That's the question I asked myself in April 2008, after the medical diagnosis. I thought, "there must be someone on this planet who has survived beyond the statistical prognosis".
So, one of the first tasks (beside deciding on a treatment plan) was to find other survivors (check out these websites: http://www.breastcancer.org > Forum: Recurrence and Metastatic Disease > Topic: Lets Start a Roll Call; and http://www.cancer-survivor.org/stories/index.shtml)
Reading these stories, I realized that there is no one treatment that works for all. I also realized that for me it was important to go beyond medical treatment, because it could not offer me a cure. As my naturopathic oncologist wrote: "Cancer has many causes, and it therefore must have many possible paths to a cure."

Some guidelines that got me started on my healing journey:

• Regain as much control as possible (Under HELPFUL LINKS, follow the Ten Tools of Triumph for Survivors Link)
• Maintain Quality of Life. Keep the rest of the body as healthy as possible while dealing with the cancer.
• Embark on a journey of self-discovery. Observe your thoughts and beliefs and find out if they keep you from moving towards health and healing. Find out what makes you UNIQUE.
• Try anything that is inspiring, energizing, joyful, hopeful, or relaxing.
• Avoid people with negative energy. Avoid stressful situations as much as possible or use techniques such as meditation and guided imagery to deal with stress.

With naturopathic treatment and a low-glycemic diet (cancer cells feed on sugar -- if you have ever had a PET scan, you know what I mean), I felt I was getting healthier every day. I also did endocrine therapy, because the biopsy had shown that the cancer cells were estrogen-receptor positive. I also explored the option of removing the liver tumour with the least invasive method -- in this case, Radio Frequency Ablation (RFA). I pursued this option for almost six months, but eventually had to give up because of too many medical roadblocks. Most doctors I contacted did not support this idea, and the one who seemed somewhat hopeful, eventually just ceased contact with me. The constant message I was getting from doctors was, "with a disseminated disease such as Stage IV breast cancer, it makes no sense to remove one tumour."
I refused to see it from their perspective. It was like saying, "well, we don't want to remove the tumour because we know that sooner or later you'll have tumours elsewhere."

Another thing that really struck me was how everyone talks about "the battle with cancer", and uses words such as "fighting", "warrior", "courageous battle", "the war on cancer" etc. What are we fighting? Our bodies have not been invaded by external enemies. Cancer is not the Evil One, the monster. Cancer cells are confused, deformed, and weak cells that have lost their normal function.
"Cancer is not an adversary; it's just a physiological process. We need to be careful about personifying a process that's not a conscious entity," said Arthur Frank, author of the book, At the Will of the Body, during his May 6, 2008 presentation at the Wellspring Centre in Calgary.

Summer 2008 was good for the most part. I explored many wonderful "alternative" healing methods such as Qi Gong, sound healing, energy healing, acupuncture, and had fun swimming with my wetsuit in mountain lakes and going on a three-day "retreat" at a cabin, with my best friend Phyllis. I felt healthier than ever. In July, the tests showed no change in the tumour progression, and I thought I had reached stability, but in the fall subsequent tests revealed that the tumour in the liver was still growing, albeit slowly, and that there were tiny metastases visible in the spine and pelvis. Well, I think, it has taken a long time for cancer to develop into this stage, so it can take a long time to turn this process around.
In the summer, I contacted Alan Hobson, cancer survivor and Everest climber, and he offered to meet with me every couple of months to chat about my experiences and to share insights. Alan has challenged me to set goals for the future. "If you don't perceive you have a future, you might not have a future," he said during one of our meetings. As my"unofficial life coach", he has become an important member of my support team.
In September I spoke as "Terry's Team Member" at the annual Terry Fox Run. I thought this might help change most people's image of a cancer patient. Although I didn't run the race to be kind to my knees, I biked the course and chatted with people along the way.
In December I had to make new decisions regarding my treatment, because the tumour in the liver was still growing. I added the European cancer treatment with mistletoe injections, hoping to boost my immune function, and prevent further spread of the cancer. (Note: This blog is not about medical advice, hence no details on drugs, diagnostic tools etc.)
The most important insights gained from my experiences in 2008 were: Do not give cancer too much power! Don't focus too much on what's "wrong", focus on what's "right and wholesome" within you, and work to increase feelings of wellness, joy, and peace. In terms of treatment choices, do your research, assemble a team of professionals that are supportive, then choose the treatments and therapies that make sense to you and give you HOPE. Get a handle on your mind, and practice healthy beliefs. Trust in a higher power and connect with that higher power. For me, it is tremendously comforting to know that GOD is the highest power there is!
Now it's off to a new year with faith and hope!

My Healing Odyssey - The Beginning

This Blog entry should have started April 1, 2008. However, on that day, I wasn't in the mood for writing. At the cancer clinic, I was told I had Stage IV breast cancer with metastasis in the liver. SHOCK. After 12 years in remission, I had hoped I was "cured".
To give you a bit of a backgrounder, we have to go back to 1996: In June of that year I found a lump in my right breast. After several tests (mammogram, biopsy)on July 4, I was told I had breast cancer. In medical lingo: Grade III, receptor positive (ER 2+, PR 2+), infiltrating ductal carcinoma of the right breast, T2 (3 cm), N1 (8/9), etc. etc.
I couldn't believe it. I thought I was healthy. There was hardly a weekend my boyfriend Jacob and I didn't go hiking, skiing, or scrambling in the Canadian Rockies. As avid cross-country skiers, we had participated in numerous ski races. Cancer doesn't happen to fit and active outdoors people, so I thought. Now I know that health is much more than fitness.
Five days after the diagnosis, I started on the medical roller coaster ride, with Jacob on my side: surgery (mastectomy), then, a month later, several rounds of "standard" chemotherapy, then, in November, five days of continuous high-dose chemotherapy, followed by an autologous stem cell transplant, and last but not least, by five weeks of radiation therapy. In plain English: stem cells in my bone marrow were "harvested" and stored in frozen nitrogen, then my body was blasted with high dose chemotherapy with the goal to kill every cancer cell. However, the chemotherapy also killed my immune system, and, after my stem cells had been returned to my body, they took about a week to rebuild my immune system. During that time, I was hovering between life and death, was given multiple antibiotics and fed intravenously.
If you're interested in getting the juicy details about this type of treatment, check out Alan Hobson's book Climb Back From Cancer (www.climbback.com).
In the spring of 1997, after I finished the last radiation treatment, I vowed that if I ever returned to the cancer clinic, it would only be as a "visitor". Jacob and I started to rebuild our lives, by getting married, building a house and moving to Canmore, at the eastern edge of the Canadian Rockies. However, I struggled for years to regain confidence in my body, and to come to terms with the side effects from the treatment, namely menopause, infertility, and bone density loss. I now wish someone had given me tools and resources to deal with this and to prevent a possible reoccurrence.
Over the years, I tried many different vitamin regimens, supplements, and natural hormone balancing with progesterone cream, never knowing whether these measures would actually help me heal. By establishing a home-based business, and later, working for Jacob's business (also in our home office), I thought I had a fairly stress-free and healthy life. We resumed our outdoor activities, especially now that the mountains and trails were at our doorstep. To read about some of our more exotic trips, go to www.stratalink.com/stratavarious
Since the second diagnosis, I've realized that I need to make major changes in my life, addressing all levels of my being -- physical, emotional, and spiritual -- in order to move towards healing. I am hoping that my experiences and insights will be helpful for others dealing with cancer.